JWM - Thoughts on this, that, and whatever else

Well, we've got several more weeks until the elections are over, and it can't get here soon enough to suit me. I've always wondered how much money is spent by all of the candidates attempting to win my vote in their respective race? I'm sure it would be an amount that would make me want to throw up. I get no less than 3-5 flyers in the mail every day. There are new signs on the street every day. And it's not just the congressional races. Does the circuit judge candidate need to have a gigantic sign every 50 feet? And then there are the phone calls. Unfortunately, most of these are recordings now, and I can't ask them who they are running against (who I will vote for, unless they start calling also). I'm sure that the television and radio commercials are worse, but I am very quick to change the channel to avoid the insanity.

We need some fresh ideas in the political arena. Here's some of my suggestions:

1. No campaign advertising until 14 days before the election. That way the candidates will not have to spend so much time and money convincing me that they suck less than their opponent.

2. Buy my vote. Instead of printing lies about how you will save the world with my help, just send me a check. I promise to vote for the highest bidder. If that is unethical, just make my mortgage payment for me. I'm sure it's less than you spend now trying to get my vote.

3. Have all candidates publicly admit they are liars. I might be more interested if I didn't think every word out of their mouth was a big fat lie. If they say "I'm a liar" then that can be their first truthful sentence. "I'm a loser" might be a good follow up statement.

4. Seriously, we need more independent candidates. If I want to run for local litter box inspector, no one would care except the other person that wants the same office. If I say I'm a Democrat or Republican candidate for litter box inspector, I'll suddenly have all kinds of money to spend on the campaign and plenty of losers ready to help me win this critical race. It's an evil system, because it rewards the canididate with the most resources. Without one of the big boys in your corner, you'll disappear faster than a politican's morals.

5. Let kids vote. Hey kids, if you make good grades in school this year, you can learn how to punch holes in a tiny card for the name that sounds the coolest. And after the election, you get all the cookies you want! Elections are so boring because only people that are bored bother to pay attention. If you want to get my attention, make it more fun. I would enjoy standing in line with a bunch of kids that are eager to take part in the American way.

Let's have some real election reform. Let all of the losers involved in elections go out and get a real job. Or if you have so much time to kill go do some volunteer work at a hospital or school. You might even feel good about yourself in the process.

posted by JW @ 6:47 PM